I couldn’t come up with the alternative Seven Dwarves’ names on my own, so I asked various family members–all who live in trailers in east Texas–to help me out. Here’s what we came up with:

1. Bobcat Jesus – because bobcat is Daddy’s favorite animal & Jesus is his Lord
2. Farrah Lantana – because Farrah is Mama’s favorite hairstyle & lantana is her favorite flower
3. Gypsy Rhiannon – because that’s Sissy’s two favorite Stevie Nicks’ songs
4. Sam Whiskey – because that’s Granny’s favorite Burt Reynolds’ movie
5. Snoopy – because that’s what Other Granny names everything
6. Mike Hunt – because that name always makes Cousin Billy laugh
7. Princess June Bug – because nothing seems more magical

If I were Snow White, I’d run screaming.

I couldn’t come up with the alternative Seven Dwarves’ names on my own, so I asked various family members–all who live in trailers in east Texas–to help me out. Here’s what we came up with:

1. Bobcat Jesus – because bobcat is Daddy’s favorite animal & Jesus is his Lord
2. Farrah Lantana – because Farrah is Mama’s favorite hairstyle & lantana is her favorite flower
3. Gypsy Rhiannon – because that’s Sissy’s two favorite Stevie Nicks’ songs
4. Sam Whiskey – because that’s Granny’s favorite Burt Reynolds’ movie
5. Snoopy – because that’s what Other Granny names everything
6. Mike Hunt – because that name always makes Cousin Billy laugh
7. Princess June Bug – because nothing seems more magical

If I were Snow White, I’d run screaming.