This is what tries to pass itself off as advising in my program:
After our meeting, I went carefully through your file and have made an unfortunate discovery. Because of your many hours within the program, you will hit 97 doctoral credit hours in the spring of 2010 (assuming 9 hours of enrollment in both fall 2009 and spring 2010). After that point, we will be unable to offer you a continuing TAship and once you hit 99 hours you may have to pay the higher rate of tuition. Practically, this means that your highest priority should be the completion of your dissertation. I’m sorry I didn’t notice this during our meeting since it has a direct bearing on planning for your future.
Let me know if you have any questions.
No real advising anywhere to be seen, and certainly no advice about possible ways to deal with transgressing absolutely arbitrary guidelines. I also enjoy the lamentably pathetic afterthought quality of it all: it’s not like the Assoc. Dean did not have at least a week’s notice that our appointment was approaching. And then to wait another week before taking the time to do his fucking job!
All the more reason to finish my dissertation as quickly as possible so I can leave this Podunk university and return to my professional life.
You heard it here first: one more year.