Here’s an excerpt of an email I received from a friend a few weeks ago. (And yes, I do keep emails in my inbox for several weeks at a time: one never knows when one will actually take the time to respond.)
How did the gym go? Is your little ass worked off now? I hope not! I happen to adore your ass! (In a friendly way of course! I’m a Democrat, so I adore all asses….) Actually, have I ever told you that you have the coolest walk of anyone I know? Seriously you do…. It’s like molten metal moving, like a Richard Serra being made right before your very eyes, and yet it’s also graceful, but not so graceful that it doesn’t suggest just a bit of “don’t fuck with me.” …It’s the best, really….
Of course, everything she wrote is absolutely true. In fact, Richard (as in Richard Serra) often designs his sculpture after watching hours of video of me just walking. It’s true! I have an inspirational ass! An ass full of inspiration … and a few other things as well: deflated soccer balls, lost Frisbees, an old box of Girl Scout cookies….
Now, of course, is the time for me to spend several more hours on my ass as I write and write and write all the necessary final projects for my classes as well as grade all those essays, quizzes, and exams. Thankfully I’ve been hitting the gym fairly faithfully for the past couple of weeks, just to give myself a much needed and deserved break from continual warfare (aka “my jobs”). And so my ass won’t embiggen itself from all the sitting.
Note to self: buy a decent chair as soon as the semester ends. It’s starting to kill my ass!